Getting a divorce is never any fun, but for people who know the proper steps and what they are in store for, it can at least be much less painful. The rules for divorce are different from country to country and state to state, but in general, there are a few things individuals want to do once they start considering a divorce and before they begin legal proceedings, and certain best practices to keep during the divorce procedure.
The first step, of course, is making sure that the divorce is necessary. A surprising number of divorces result in reconciliation and remarriage within a year, and given the complications and costs of the divorce process, avoiding it is preferable when possible. Many couples experiencing marital difficulties attempt some sort of marriage counseling, and perhaps a period of trial separation, before pursuing divorce as an option. This is a good first step, although for legal reasons, it should be kept in mind that during a period of trial separation, the couple is still considered married as concerns adulterous acts.
If the couple decides that getting a divorce is the best course of action, the next step is to decide what sort of divorce to pursue. There are two main classes: no fault and fault. A no fault divorce is essentially one in which one or both partners feel that there are irreconcilable differences that make continued marriage undesirable, or an underlying incompatibility between the partners. In most areas, this type of divorce can be filed immediately with no waiting period; in some places, however, a court may require a period of trial separation ranging from a few months to a few years before granting a petition for no fault divorce.
A fault divorce, by contrast, is a divorce in which a partner asks a judge to rule that the other partner is in some way at fault. The fault might include physical or emotional abuse, an inability to perform sexually, incarceration, or adultery. Pursuing a fault divorce may have a number of advantages. In some areas, a no fault divorce requires a period of trial separation first, whereas a fault divorce can be granted immediately. In other areas, a person divorcing a partner who is at fault may be able to receive more alimony or a larger portion of the at-fault partner’s possessions. The downside is that fault divorces are usually quite a bit messier than no fault divorces and may result in “dirty laundry” being aired in court by the defending partner.
Once someone has decided on the type of divorce to pursue, the next step is to talk to an attorney. The person should tell the attorney what he or she is thinking about, what type of divorce he or she would like to pursue, and all other information the lawyer should know, including marital infidelities the individual may have engaged in or other information that may be brought up and used in court proceedings. He or she should not take any actions, such as filing for a divorce, leaving the marital home, or engaging in intercourse with a new partner, without first talking to the attorney about the legal ramifications of these actions. The lawyer will help minimize the messiness and protect his or her client from unnecessary legal risk.
If the divorce goes smoothly, it can be over rather quickly, after a brief court date and the signing of papers. If it gets messy, it can drag on for some time — particularly if one partner is determined to make it last. People considering divorce should rest assured that the system is there to help them, however, and that the marriage will eventually be dissolved.