Many times, husbands don’t realize you need help unless you ask. The biggest problem with many couples is that both people don’t always see the same mess and don’t feel the same need to clean it up. Talk to him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel when the brunt of the housework is left to you. Don’t use a condescending tone of voice when talking to him, as he may shut down and ignore you. No one wants to be talked to like a child.
Consider what your husband really does do to help around the house. Many times, when the going gets tough, you might only see what needs to be done, and what your husband has done to help goes unnoticed. Take a moment to reflect on what he did that week to help you and take it into consideration. He may have done yard work, changed the oil on the car, taken out the trash, or vacuumed.
Make sure your expectations aren’t too high. Husbands often work a lot and might simply not have the time or energy to help around the house as much as their wives want them to. If he comes home exhausted after a long hard day, more help may not be an option. While that’s not to say that your day has been easy — especially if you also work outside the home — try to keep what’s going on outside the home in mind. Consider the extra income he is bringing home when you get frustrated.
If you really feel that your husband isn’t pulling his fair share of work around the house, then he needs to know. Try writing it down, if you have trouble explaining it to him verbally. Let him know that you are serious about things needing to change and what you expect of him, so he doesn’t have to try to read your mind. Some wives try making a honey-do list to let their husbands know what they need done and when they would like it to be completed. If you don’t give him a timeline, he may put things off as long as possible or simply think that they aren’t urgent.
Most husbands really are good guys who just don’t realize their wives need help around the house. Maybe the wives look like they have it under control or the house just doesn’t look like it needs to be cleaned. Be honest about what you want and need, and reasonable about what he really can contribute.