The oft-maligned act of youthful rebellion known as running with scissors is generally considered one of the most galactically stupid maneuvers any human being could perform. The most likely outcome would either be an emergency medical procedure to remove the scissors from the runner’s body, or an embarrassing yet factual obituary detailing precisely how the runner expired. The ill-advised practice of running with scissors practically defines the entire safety lecture industry.
One of the first conundrums raised by running with scissors is the inexplicable need for speed. There are very few situations in which shaving a few seconds off the old scissor delivery land speed record would be essential. Running at full speed with a sharp pair of scissors in hand is rarely necessary, so walking at a controlled pace would be the ideal for accident prevention. Running increases the chances of a slip or fall, which could prove disastrous if the scissor blades were in a position to impale the runner.
Running with scissors can also be a hazard to others. If the scissors are held with the blades pointed outwards, an innocent bystander could be cut badly as the runner brushes past him. Even worse, a sudden encounter at a doorway or other entrance could end with an accidental stabbing, or the impact might drive the scissor blades into the runner himself. Either scenario would be enough incentive to give up on the senseless act of high-speed scissor delivery.
The act of running with scissors has become the poster child of household safety programs everywhere, and with good reason. It is an ideal example of how a fairly safe household item, albeit one with two sharpened blades, can become a dangerous weapon when handled improperly. Few people would ever consider running with a full set of serrated steak knives or a power saw, but for some reason a pair of scissors is not always perceived as a safety hazard by a select group of potential victims.
If you should find yourself actually running with scissors, always keep in mind that scissors can be replaced, but the same cannot be always be said for body parts. If something appears to be going seriously awry, such as an impending fall, the best thing to do would be to toss the scissors away from your body before impact. The worst injuries occur whenever a runner lands with force on the scissor blades or has the blades driven into his body on impact. Make sure the blades are fully closed, and hold the scissors in your hand, not in a pocket or waistband.
In general, running with scissors should be limited to an extreme emergency situation in which time is an important factor, such as cutting off a constrictive object or freeing a trapped victim from a seat belt. All other scissor-related activities should fall under the general category of “no running required.”