A peacemaker is a conciliator. She is summoned to help parties de-escalate their conflict and reach a mutually satisfactory resolution. She assesses the issues fairly as a neutral third party, listens to possible solutions, and ultimately negotiates a settlement that is acceptable to both parties. These discussions are typically held in a legal setting, but they can be held anywhere that provides privacy for both parties while the conciliator conducts the interviews.
Conciliators, arbitrators, and mediators are all different types of people. While all three seek tactful and calm resolutions to often tense conflicts, their roles are distinct. An arbitrator, unlike a conciliator, can obtain evidence and witnesses and provide input on decisions and awards in legal proceedings. Both parties are present during the mediation process, which involves discussing and weighing mutual benefits. Individual concessions are typically sought during conciliation, and each party is privately consulted.
The conciliator’s first priority when meeting with each party individually is to establish a sense of peace and tranquility. It’s easier to communicate with a clear head in a calm environment. She won’t be able to succeed unless she can resolve the tension between the two parties before beginning negotiations.
Once everyone is calm, the conciliator asks each party to make a list of what they want to get out of the negotiation. Because each party is counseled separately, each can be completely honest in their responses. The conciliator requests that each list be organized from most to least desirable outcomes once it has been completed.
She then instructs each party to start at the bottom of the list and eliminate the objectives that are least important to them. She switches back and forth to keep the lists balanced, all without either party knowing what the other wants to happen. The lists rarely match, and even if some objectives are similar, they are rarely given the same priority.
As solutions become clearer, each party to the negotiation feels a sense of accomplishment in having their goals taken into account fairly. In most cases, the conciliator succeeds because each participant feels valued and heard. As each party becomes more accepting of the other’s choices, this feeling of trust makes achieving mutually desirable goals easier.
A successful conciliator must be an expert negotiator, but the job also requires a lot of creativity. As she listens to each client state their goals and concerns, she must do a lot of reading between the lines. Patience is required when leading people through the negotiation process with logic and calm. She must also have a deep understanding of human nature and the importance of having one’s needs recognized and met.